- Love and Abandonment Issues - Lynne Namka
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- Realize That It’s Not About You
- Crazy, Desperate Love and Abandonment Issues
- Why It’s Harder To Find Love When You Have Abandonment Issues
Love and Abandonment Issues - Lynne Namka
Some of the ways the insecure attachment style causes problems in relationships and plays out in later life include: Neediness puts a strain on relationships whether you are a man or woman. Inconsolable losses need to be addressed.
- junior dating a freshman in high school.
- dating a man ten years older than you.
- Dedicated to your stories and ideas..
- Be Patient With Them, And Communicate With Them.
- More From Thought Catalog.
This is deep inner work that connects you to your True Self. Abandonment issues are to be recognized for what they are-deep-seated fear beliefs that most likely came from some traumatic events in life where your basic needs to feel safe and connected to loving people were not met.
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Demanding others meet your emotional needs and providing calming for you only makes them frustrated with you and makes them want to get away. In the long run, you and only you are responsible for your unmet psychological needs. Trauma cannot be talked away. Sometimes talking about it brings up the feelings of being helpless and hopeless and retraumatization happens.
A larger approach is needed to work through old emotions held in the body. With stress and trauma, the amygdala secretes the stress chemicals cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine. Trauma-reduction techniques bring us back to the thinking, rational, problem-solving parts of our brain-the prefrontal cortex. Energy psychology and other mind-body approaches help take down that emotional reactivity in the amygdala and limbic center of the brain that activates emotion. So what helps with those deep beliefs of unworthiness and being unlovable?
We are body, mind and spirit.
Realize That It’s Not About You
Trauma can be decreased with mind-body techniques which assist the process of healing. Go to the Association for Energy Psychology therapist list or google findatherapist. Tap along with him on your issue and you will feel better!
Be Here for Me! The feelings of being needy and rejected are excruciating! Big and small experiences across a life time add up to create self-doubt about being a worthy person and thus insecurity is born.
Crazy, Desperate Love and Abandonment Issues
And emotional pain is neurological in its basis. The amygdala and other emotional parts of the brain of a child who has been ignored, left and abandoned become overwhelmed with powerful emotions which do not become discharged. I need others to calm my overly anxious feelings.
Sometimes these angry behaviors along with other destructive ways of acting make up a diagnostic category called Borderline Personality Disorder. Unrealistic overwhelming panic, fear of death and fears of losing a loved one. Again, if you can, please be patient with them. If you work together, they can grow from the experience, and your support and reassurance may in fact stop that kind of thing from happening too often again.
Why It’s Harder To Find Love When You Have Abandonment Issues
If this behavior is upsetting or frustrating to you, talk to them about it instead of bottling it up and either remaining silent , or trying to convince them that nothing is wrong. More essential reading article continues below: One major difficulty in loving someone with abandonment issues is that many of them have been damaged repeatedly by the same type of people, over and over again. The owner behaves kindly to the dog for a little while, then kicks it, causing it pain… but then is kind again for a little while. Until they kick it again, and the pattern repeats itself.
Then the dog is adopted by another caregiver… who is kind to the dog for a little while, until they decide to kick it as well. After a few rounds with a few different people, that dog will have learned the lesson that any small kindness will inevitably be followed by a painful kick. They would love nothing more than to just fall into your arms with complete trust in the fact that you are who you seem to be and they can be perfectly happy and safe in a relationship with you, but their own experiences have taught them otherwise, time and time again. A few examples could be things like:.
Being seen and heard is unbelievably important, and having their efforts recognized can make a world of difference to them.